Deep Breath

Sorry that I don't keep up with this blog. I check everyone else's blogs regularly, but don't post on mine at all. My apologies, but I'm not going to say that I will get better. Because I probably won't!

Well, we are about a month into the deployment. I do pretty well considering. I have moments of loneliness and crying, but they are coming less frequent. If hubby and I are not on the same page about something (which has happened recently), than I am beside myself with grief. It stinks to be arguing and fighting when you are thousands of miles apart. It's becoming a true test of our marriage. A lot of changes have come our way, and will continue to do so even after he comes home. Our marriage has reached a new chapter, and I personally am having a hard time adjusting. It's not all about the deployment either, so don't think that. Even if my hubby wasn't overseas right now, our lives would still be changing. It just might not have happened all at once. So continued prayers are greatly needed and appreciated.

I have been having some major back pain for the last few weeks, and it has become increasingly worse every day. Yesterday there was not a single time that my back did not hurt. Frustrating. It's from a variety of reasons I'm sure, such as being overweight, bad posture, and my line of work. As a nurse, I bend, squat, pick up, push, pull, hold down all the time. So back pain is inevitable. I plan on seeing a chiropractor after the holidays.

I am ready for the holidays. I guess. I'm dreading going through it without my husband though. I was debating on putting up my tree and decorations this year or not. I am not planning on having anyone over during the Christmas season. And it's such a hassle to put it up when I'm the only one who will be seeing it. I love putting up the tree when my husband is home, because he enjoys it as well. But this year, it's going to be hard. I decided to go ahead and put up the tree with the ornaments. But nothing else will be put out in my house. No Christmas lights outside, and no other decorations inside. I'm keeping it simple. I decided I do need the tree though, to calm my mind and get me in the Christmas spirit. There's just something about a Christmas tree lit up at night that makes everything else in my world better.

That's all I have for now guys. Your continued thoughts and prayers our way are needed and appreciated! I sometimes have to take a deep breath and tell myself it will all be okay.

Time

Time for Deployment.
Time for Change.

Time for Independence.
Time for Prayer.
Time for deep breaths.

Time for being thankful.
Time for taking advantage of time.

Time for leaning on God more than ever.
Time for leaning on friends and family.
Time for allowing my husband to spread his wings.
Time to support him, no matter how hard it is.

It's time.

Creativity Unavailable!

I am such a slacker! Sorry for not keeping up with blogging. I have found that I am not creative at all, and I'm sure you are tired of reading and reading my thoughts, with no creativity behind it!

Not much has been going on. I've been keeping myself rather busy, I'm not home much unless I'm sleeping.

Our AC went out AGAIN! Hubby and I both are losing our patience with the company our warranty sent us to. It's who we used last time, and their customer service is horrible. Hubby called the warranty this morning, and they said to call them again tomorrow morning if we haven't heard anything from the AC company. So far...nothing.

At least the temperature isn't in the 90's like it was last time our AC quit.

I have jumped back on the bandwagon with weight watchers. Plus, I have added exercising to my weight loss goal! I wasn't doing that last time. My goal is to head to the gym every day that I'm off work. So far, I have been successful! Granted, I've only done it for a week ;)

The fair is in town! I haven't been in 3-4 years, and plan on going tomorrow for lunch and eating all the fried goodiness (notice that weight watchers will NOT be in my plan tomorrow!)

And..that's it. I'll leave you with a picture :) This is when the hubby and I first met and were "thinking" about dating. (2003)

Goals

Deployment Goals

1. Trim the Trees out front
2. Completely finish the flooring in our spare bedrooms
3. Fix the Gate on the side of our house
4. Lose 30-40 lbs, 2 pant sizes, and a shirt size
5. Reduce the amount of Sticky notes I use on a daily basis!
6. Absorb myself in God's Word
7. Pray on my knees all the time for my husband
8. Pray that God opens his heart while he is gone
9. Save, Save, Save!
10. Pay off as much debt as possible
11. Buy a new dining room set. I am in love with this:



And finally, keep myself as busy as possible!

Farewell Ceremony

Farewell Ceremony
August 30-31

Hiatus

Sorry guys, I took a blog hiatus. And much longer than I anticipated!
I have pictures on my camera, and will hopefully load them on here for you to see soon!
I sent the hubby off last week for his mobilization.
I am handling it well so far. The first day home without him was rough.
And my first night back to work was emotional. I have such wonderful co-workers who are genuinely concerned for me. They made me cry as soon as I walked in the door!
I am off work for 8 days as of now, we will see how I can handle that. I have been really busy since the hubby left. I haven't had much time to think about him not being home. Hopefully I will be able to find enough things to keep me busy during the next week.

The upside to all this is, I get to see the hubby one more time before he goes
overseas. He gets a 4 day pass after his mobilization and before the actual deployment.
So there is a blessing. I'm sure it will be harder to leave him the second time, knowing I won't see him for several months. That, and worrying about his safety.

I have a dilemma. There are going to be frequent days that my time will need to be
occupied. I would love to call several of you to hang out, but most of my friends work 8-5 jobs.
I do not. So, if you do not work an 8-5 job and would be available during the afternoon
to just hang out, would you let me know? And I don't want to impose on
anybody's lives. So don't feel obligated, because that won't help me out.
I don't want to feel guilty.

This is a random post. I apologize.
I plan on changing the look of my blog in the near future.
My good friend Libby has sent me to a blog tutorial site.
It looks like it is going to require a lot of my attention.
So please be patient as I figure the html out!

Yellow Ribbon

Here are pictures from hubby's yellow ribbon ceremony. We had a fun time with friends. Also had a lot of information overload with military briefings on what to expect and prepare for while hubby is deployed. Had some crazy emotions all weekend, but we still had fun!

Hubby and his army buddy playing with "Bevo"

Snuggle time!! :)

I absolutely love this picture :)

Posing with the tank!

We have less than 2 weeks before hubby starts his

mobilization.

I discovered this past weekend the real meaning of
"hurry up and wait."

Even though hubby said it wasn't that bad, and

he usually ends up waiting a lot longer than we did on Saturday.

We ate at Landry's Seafood Friday night with his buddies,

and had an absolute blast!

I am super proud of my hubby, who is one of the pickiest eaters I know.

He ended up trying chilled shrimp cocktail, fried alligator, fried oyster,
and king crab legs and loving every bit of it!

You have no idea how happy that makes me.
All because his buddies make him try things.
I told them their next task during this deployment was to
get him to eat more veggies and fruit.
We shall see what kind of eater my husband is when he comes home next year!

Camping

It's been busy around here.
Getting the hubby ready for deployment.
We are both officially off work now, until he leaves.

We went camping in the canyon last night for some quiet time just the two of us.
Had some good conversation that was needed.
I think we are finally on the same page about certain aspects of our marriage.
It was a long time coming.
It's amazing how easily things can fall apart when there is so much stress going on!
Anyway, here are the pictures I got while camping.

Good Brewsky..lol.

We went high-tech while camping. I don't do well to just sit there
and not have anything to do. A movie was a good idea!

Our baby girl, Blaze camping and getting spoiled rotten with
all the attention she got from mom and dad!

We are heading to El Paso tomorrow for the weekend.
It's hubby's Yellow Ribbon Ceremony with the Army.
I plan on taking pictures and hopefully getting another post up next week.
So stay tuned!

26 days

26 days.

26 days until my husband leaves.

26 days of trying my best not to lose my mind.

26 days of survival. 26 days of patience.

26 days of closing my eyes and wishing the time would stand still.

26 days of loving on my husband, and trying my best to not let the little things bother me.

26 days of keeping my emotions and feelings in check.

26 days of trying not to overwhelm my husband with all that is going on inside my mind.

26 days of supporting him.

26 days of praying on my knees.

Sick

Sick, sick, sick.
That is my life at the moment.
Why do we always get sick when we are the busiest?
Went to Urgent Care this morning.
Tested negative for strep, however, I am showing all the symptoms.
Plus a lovely ear infection.
I feel like poo. I have to say I do feel better than this morning though.

So puppy sitting is going fairly well.
Lots of craziness going on with 2 boxer puppies in the house though.
Much entertainment as well.

Hard to tell them apart huh? See if you can guess...
that is, if you know our dog.

So, more prayer is needed for Heath and I.
He is wanting to join the Army as active duty once he comes back
from being deployed.
I have mixed feelings about it.
There are definite pros and cons.
It's going to require a lot of prayer on both of our parts, and added
prayer from our family and friends wouldn't hurt either.
Thanks!

Impending

I am having a really hard time putting into words what all has been going on lately. So much to say, yet not a lot I can put on here for all the world to see. Decisions...Decisions!

Hubby is home for now. The impending deployment has sunk in, at least for me. I am realizing quickly that my time with him is very precious. I am also having a hard time "sharing". I am finding myself feeling very selfish with my time that is left with him. And clingy. I am sure he gets annoyed with that sometime. Ha ha!

Moving on.

Need prayer for my grandparents. My grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer last week. I wish I could go into more detail as far as what the doctors said and what the plan of care is, but I don't know how much he would want me to share. Just know that it is serious. Surgery is probably not an option.

Hubby and I are hosting the "sister dog" this week, starting today. We have a boxer puppy, and my parents got a boxer as well from the same litter. Well, my parents are going on vacation for a week, so we are puppy sitting while they are gone. It's going to be a zoo. These 2 dogs are wild, crazy, and spastic! They are almost 1 year old, so they aren't small. Should be very fun and entertaining!

I guess that's really it. I have so much more to say, but like I said, most does not need to be read by the world.

Safe

I just heard this song on the radio on my way home.
I have heard this song many times before,
but today it touched my heart for the first time.
It points directly at my life, how I have been feeling lately.
Thought I would share:

"Safe"
by Phil Wickham

Verse 1:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong He'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free


It is so great to know that God is with me, protects me,
even during my darkest times.
He is holding me, I am safe, even when everything else
in my life is falling apart.

Never Home

Got some overtime at work this week, which was very surprising.
Going back to work tomorrow morning for a few hours.
Why, you ask?
To help my unit move to a different floor.
They are going to do construction on our floor.
I volunteered to come in extra to help with the move.
Crazy? Possibly.

Anyway,
I feel like I haven't been home at all in about 3 weeks.
Since before the hubby left for NJ.

He comes back next week *Happy Face*
Only for a little bit though.

I am planning a huge cookout at our house at the end of this month
for those of you who are interested in seeing Heath before he deploys.
If you are interested, let me know so I can give you the details!
Tentative Date is July 31.

I'm going to go to bed now. Work has worn me out!
But I love my job and all the wonderful people I work with,
plus my boss is AWESOME.
So I am thankful that I get to work as much as I do!

Skin Head

Whew! Got some overtime at work this week, it started out crazy earlier in the week, then has slowed down a lot. I'm guessing it's because of the 4th of July. I'm on call tomorrow night, and Heath isn't home, so I have no plans for the 4th except to sleep and either work or hang out at home.

Before Heath left for New Jersey, he shaved his head and mustache (with a razor and shaving cream). Of course, I took pictures of him becoming a "skin head". I don't like the look much, or the way his head feels when he razor shaves it, but oh well.






I probably should have taken pictures of the "finished project", but I didn't think about it at the time. Sorry!

So this week of Weight Watchers has been bad for me, I gained a couple of pounds. I blame it on stress and not having time to go grocery shopping. Hopefully next week will be better, I plan on it anyway!

Swimming Thoughts

I have several plans between now and the time Heath leaves.
Which is coming way to soon.
I go through spurts of wishing the time would slow down, a lot. And other times
when I wish it would just hurry up and get here so that we can get it over with.

There are many moments of frustration, sadness, happiness, and loneliness.

Anyway, here are my plans:
-to go on at least one more small bike ride with him
-to throw a huge cookout at our house with family and friends
-for him to be off work for a couple of weeks to be with me
(don't really know if that one is possible yet)
-to take advantage of every possible moment we have together

Here are my plans while he is gone:
-to save as much money as possible
-to pay off most of our debt
-to do some landscaping in our frontyard
-a girl weekend in Dallas with my mom and grandmothers
-a week long trip to see my cousin in Oregon
-to try to stay as busy as possible
(I'll be counting on a lot of you to help me with that one)
-keep my sanity
-work on my marriage and my own attitude, even while he is away
-pray for him continually

I am going to miss him so much. I recently bought "The 5 Love Languages",
a copy for me, and the Men's Edition for my husband. Our marriage needs so much work,
as I'm sure every marriage does. But it seems that ours is under more attack from Satan
because of all the time we spend apart. This past year we have spent at least 6 of
those months apart. And this next year will be 11-12 months apart.

So I ask that you pray for us. Pray for the husband, that he stays safe when away,
and that he comes home to me (I constantly worry about that). That he enjoys
his time seeing the world, and learns a lot while being gone.
Pray for me that I can stay busy, that I have peace while he is gone. That I don't find
myself feeling depressed.
Pray that nothing seriously goes wrong at home while he is gone, with the house, family,
or friends.

Thank you.
Love you guys.

Pictures!

Motorcycle riding, getting ready to head into the canyon!

A lonely old house in the middle of the canyon.

Us waiting for the show to start!

We had such a great time together! We got there really early, which gave us
plenty of time to ride around the canyon before the show started.

And there was a very yummy steak dinner as well!

I love you baby, thanks for a great night!

"T-E-X-A-S"

Been busy around here. Heath, again, went to El Paso over the weekend for pre-mobilization briefings, and drove his motorcycle. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. He has impressed me with how safe he handles the bike. He got home this evening. I worked the entire weekend while he was gone, which was a good thing.

We are going to see TEXAS in Palo Duro Canyon tomorrow evening, and I am very excited about that! We don't go on very many large dates together, usually it just involves dinner then we come back home. And, we plan on riding the motorcycle down there! I'll take pictures of our evening and post them sometime later this week.

Most of you know I am on weight watchers, and have been for about a month. I did very well my first week with a loss of 5 pounds, but it has dwindled down. I changed the scale I was weighing myself on 3 weeks after starting WW, so I don't know how accurate this is, but WW online is showing that I have lost 11.8 pounds! I'll take what I can get.

Hope everyone has a good week!

A Beginner Blogger

When I was first in college I had a blog. However, as a college freshman, I had no life. It revolved around studying. So I canceled that blog.

Here I am yet again, with a blog. But I think I will have an easier time finding things to talk about than I did 5 years ago. My main purpose this time is to have an outlet for my feelings, and also a way for my husband to keep up with what's going on at home while he is overseas. Be patient with me as I figure it all out!

So, here is my history. I'm 25, been married for 3 years. No children...yet. We have way too many pets, specifically, cats. My husband is in the Army, has been for a year now. His first deployment is happening this September, one of many I'm sure. We just bought our first house. I am a Registered Nurse and work in the pediatric department at our local hospital. I absolutely love my job and the people I work with! We love the Lord, and are active members at our Church. We have recently bought a motorcycle, and are new bikers enjoying being outside on the bike together. My hubs jokingly says I'm turning into a "biker babe". I am enjoying it more than I thought I would.

Well, there you go for now. I have so much more to say, but it will have to wait for a later time!
God Bless You.