Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Deep Breath

Sorry that I don't keep up with this blog. I check everyone else's blogs regularly, but don't post on mine at all. My apologies, but I'm not going to say that I will get better. Because I probably won't!

Well, we are about a month into the deployment. I do pretty well considering. I have moments of loneliness and crying, but they are coming less frequent. If hubby and I are not on the same page about something (which has happened recently), than I am beside myself with grief. It stinks to be arguing and fighting when you are thousands of miles apart. It's becoming a true test of our marriage. A lot of changes have come our way, and will continue to do so even after he comes home. Our marriage has reached a new chapter, and I personally am having a hard time adjusting. It's not all about the deployment either, so don't think that. Even if my hubby wasn't overseas right now, our lives would still be changing. It just might not have happened all at once. So continued prayers are greatly needed and appreciated.

I have been having some major back pain for the last few weeks, and it has become increasingly worse every day. Yesterday there was not a single time that my back did not hurt. Frustrating. It's from a variety of reasons I'm sure, such as being overweight, bad posture, and my line of work. As a nurse, I bend, squat, pick up, push, pull, hold down all the time. So back pain is inevitable. I plan on seeing a chiropractor after the holidays.

I am ready for the holidays. I guess. I'm dreading going through it without my husband though. I was debating on putting up my tree and decorations this year or not. I am not planning on having anyone over during the Christmas season. And it's such a hassle to put it up when I'm the only one who will be seeing it. I love putting up the tree when my husband is home, because he enjoys it as well. But this year, it's going to be hard. I decided to go ahead and put up the tree with the ornaments. But nothing else will be put out in my house. No Christmas lights outside, and no other decorations inside. I'm keeping it simple. I decided I do need the tree though, to calm my mind and get me in the Christmas spirit. There's just something about a Christmas tree lit up at night that makes everything else in my world better.

That's all I have for now guys. Your continued thoughts and prayers our way are needed and appreciated! I sometimes have to take a deep breath and tell myself it will all be okay.